Week 13, Month 3, Quarter 1

Well this all seems to be working out nicely. I’ve managed to stay on schedule, avoid injury and remain motivated. My body shape feels like it’s moving in the right direction even if there is minimal noticeable weight loss.

There have been a few bumps in the road. I had some serious doubts early on, especially when I needed to break the 400 swings into 16 sets of 25 as my grip wasn’t strong enough. I’ve travelled more than usual at the start of the year and the disruption put me a couple of days back each time. I had the flu (possibly the near fatal “man” strain). I also had a relationship come to an end. While I thought that I’d cope with that one easily enough it actually turned out to be the hardest one of all. I found myself being directionless without someone, without someone special, giving me praise and encouragement everyday. I dealt with the loneliness by eating badly and drinking excessively. I couldn’t sleep and then found dragging myself out of bed a monumental effort.

The challenge itself became the anchor which allowed me to rebuild my day. Knowing that I had very publicly committed to this. Being aware that my social media posts have a consistent, cheerful, middle aged man feel to them. Having people ask me about the challenge in work forced me to keep plugging on even on the days I didn’t want to look at the stupid yellow ball of pain.

Slowly to start with, but then more rapidly, the challenge became my self identity. Something that I do has become something that I am. I am the 100,000 kettlebell swing guy. That stupid yellow cannonball greets me like the sun in the morning and says “Come on buddy. If you get this done you can do anything today.” The routine and the repetition provided, still provides, a semi-meditative state that has allowed me to reflect and reassess my mind and my mental state, and like the bell I’m managing to swing my mood i the right direction too.

I know there is no shame in feeling or expressing vulnerability these days but my stoic shell still finds this hard to express. Lucky no one reads this .

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